Is your dad dating someone much younger than he is, perhaps someone near your own age? This is more common than you may think. If you have a parent who is starting to date again, it can be a little hard, but when you find out that your father is not only dating, but he's dating someone who's around your age, it's a whole new story. Whether you're mother has passed or your parents' marriage ended in divorce, seeing your parents date is going to be hard. You want to be supportive. You want your father to be happy, and you have to realize that he doesn't need your approval in who he chooses to date. With that said, it's going to suck when your dad finally tells you that he's dating someone younger than he is, much less close to your age.
Just be glad that he's having some life. Get over it. I haven't been remarried since my divorce. How do you think about the answers?
My dad is dating someone younger than me
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May 03, My dad is 50 years old. I am My older sisters are 22, and Younger 5 years old twins. My dads girlfriend is 20! 3 months older than me. I thought I was small and short untill I met her. 5'1 and 90 lbs. her arms are smaller than my 5 year old sisters!! He left my mom wen I was 2. Found Someone 10 years younger. Apr 26, First, tell your dad how you feel about this new girl. Tell him that your happy for him but it kinda freaks you out a lil, it depends on the kinda relationship between you and your father. Is your dad dating someone much younger than he is, perhaps someone near your own age? This is more common than you may think. If you have a parent who is starting to date again, it can be a little hard, but when you find out that your father is not only dating, but he's dating someone who's around your age, it's a whole new story.
When I ask him if he still loves her as intensely as he did before, he tells me, yes. I still have no idea whether it will last, but I'm letting him live his life, as a parent might allow their teenager to make the same mistakes they did.
Back Stateside, I've come to understand that the best thing about my dad isn't his quirkiness-it's his belief in love. Love for life, other people, and himself.
Love when it's unexpected. Love even when it's inconvenient. And now, to me, he's a whole new kind of inspiring. Follow Marie Claire on Facebook for the latest celeb news, beauty tips, fascinating reads, livestream video, and more. United States. Type keyword s to search. Today's Top Stories. Single Parenting and the Pandemic? No, Thanks. Getty Images. This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses.
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This commenting section is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page. You may be able to find more information on their web site. Advertisement - Continue Reading Below. Sorry I couldn't be more help, I'll let you know if I come up with any ideas! Her dad left her mom when she was a senior in high school for a woman I think was 21, maybe Her dad was at least in his late 50's.
The girl in question barely spoke English and worked in a department store that he owned, it was rough. The way she handled it was just to do everything she could to bypass the situation all together. She called and emailed instead of visiting, although she did visit occasionally and I believe to this day they have never discussed it.
Yeah it creeps her out, but she told me once that she had to make a choice to either have her father in her life or not. While I think she came close to disowning him entirely, she decided she still wanted her father in her life, even if he was not the kind of father she wanted or necessarily even the kind of man she could respect.
Speaking, my dad is dating someone younger than me something
I can understand this must feel uncomfortable for you, all the way around. That is a completely normal thing. That being said: Have you ever had to meet a new significant other's family? From what I can remember, it is pretty nerve-wracking right? Now imagine you are in a non-conventional relationship and you have to meet the family. If that doesn't put the "hey I am reaching out" email into perspective for you I don't know what will.
The fact of the matter is, no matter what age someone is, it is god damn tough to find someone that you can tolerate, let alone love. Do you really want to take that away from your father because it makes you feel icky?
Others have told you it's none of your business and yes, you should get over yourself. But I don't care about that. My problem with your question is that this supporting-but-disapproving stuff is a lie. You're either lying to him, or to both of you, but you are lying. He loves you, he loves her. What's he supposed to do? Have you noticed how uncomfortable things are between you?
It sucks doesn't it? Well it's harder for him. He can't talk to you about the things that they do together that make him happy, because he's afraid you'll give him that look or lecture him.
He doesn't want to hurt either of you! Have any gay friends? Go ask them. They'll know. This is Thanksgiving time. Don't do this to him if you love him. You say you are close but if you persist, you won't be anymore. If you make him choose, he'll choose the one whose hand is not twisting the knife in his heart.
I am not yet old enough to have made mistakes 35 years ago but when I am, I hope my loved ones will forgive me. Well it looks like I'm bitter about this. But it's a real answer and perspective I think you should have. By the way, has everyone noticed that Thanksgiving is coming up? To be bluntly honest, the only person that's coming off creepy, based on whats been written, is you. I know this may sound harsh or outlandish, but bear with as I explain, please. Keep in mind that my parents have been divorced for decades and my mom recently remarried.
While I worried over her growing old alone, at no time was it wrenching and I would never describe her in a way similar to this: " being a very smart, handsome, together Sure they're all human and have thoughts and desires, but that was a part of them that I never knew and that's fine. I'm not supposed to know. So when you express disappointment about your dads choice, I have to wonder what's going on that makes you care so much and I say this as both a son and father.
I may not like who my kids date, but it's not my choice or concern, other than them being happy and being treated properly. It's not my concern to evaluate how they'll be perceived and whether they'll be able to "land a good catch. Now, this may seem as though I'm saying you have some sexual interest in your dad, but I'm not. I DO think you have certain expectations of your father, especially considering his past behavior and the fact that he's not living up to them is really upsetting you.
Also, there may be unresolved feelings about your dad being the cause of your parents divorce that are echoing in this relationship. Whether that's true is up to you to figure out. Either way, let it go. He's 64 and knows death is rushing towards him. Let him sow a few oats if he can and stick to loving him as only a daughter can.
Remarkable, valuable my dad is dating someone younger than me consider
Your dad has found someone he loves, and I'm assuming his girlfriend has too. They are in a relationship together. Seeing as how this isn't a three-way, polygamous relationship, what concern is it of yours who he is sleeping with?
Both consenting adults? Both apparently doing each other some good? Are you really going to let a number come between you and your father like this? I am half of a age-differenced couple. My husband is about 15 months younger than my mother, and older than me by 22 years.
We started dating when I was 22, so he was double my age in the start. Please don't be creeped out by your father's GF. If this woman makes your father happy, so be it.
They will get enough judgements on their age difference by acquaintences and snide comments from nosy people through out the world, trust me. The last thing they want, assuming this is a long term relationship, is to get similar vibes from you.
I'm banging some young chick! If you want some advice on how my husband's family reacted, my email is in my profile. They were not so kind as my family initially.
Your dad will do as he damn well pleases regardless of your approval or disapproval, I'm guessing- because he's gone through plenty of his own personal turmoil over his marriage, his divorce, and his infidelity, and probably doesn't need someone else telling him how he ought to feel and how he should act upon those feelings. You, too, will do as you damn well please, but it really sounds to me like your father's infidelity shook your faith in him and shit, something like that would do that to any child and you're still not entirely certain how much you trust him to do the ethical and appropriate thing.
The age difference between your dad and his SO maybe isn't the actual issue- how you're coping with his previous follies and the eventual collapse of your parents' marriage, though, that might be the issue.
I'd be showering eight times a day for the rest of my life if I found out my father was screwing my underage babysitter, honestly, all other issues you've discussed aside.
Denoucing this woman as "trying on the step-mommy role" is kind of silly for a person your age, isn't it? I've said this in other threads but I know whereof I speak - the gods of irony dump a lot of never-saw-it-coming stunning shit on one's head over the course of a lifetime. Quit looking for trouble.
Be gracious, raise your glass, give a Thanksgiving toast that your dad is here in the flesh, yours to love, and someone else recognizes that he is worth loving. The ONLY thing is that she's 36? I could see if she was in her 20s, and even then - you know, some people have old souls. She's It's a perfectly respectable age, and 60 is not what we thought 60 was when we were 12 and looking at our grandparents. If you said that you thought she only wanted his money, if you said she was unkind to him, if you said she was stupid and butt-ugly People are people.
They are odd and delightful. You haven't even met this woman, so what makes you think she's not a great match for him?
My dad is 40 years old and his new girlfriend is 22! He has been with her for a few months and only told me about it a week ago. The problem is not only how young she is but the fact shes younger then me! im 24 (dad had me very young). To say im creeped out would be an understatement. Jul 20, My father's new girlfriend is 30 years his junior-she's my age-and it's taught me a lot about dating. An emotional rollercoaster I wasn't expecting. 73of . Nov 25, My dad is now dating a woman nearly 30 years younger than he. The part that's really, really bugging me, though, is the fact that she is about 18 months older than I. She and I could have been classmates. She's 36, he's
No seriously. And when you add to the picture that you only see him twice a year. No really. Giving Christmas present advice is not being a stepmom. Have you ever stopped to think that maybe your dad hasn't liked your past few gifts and so he was hoping to use her as an intermediary?
Maybe her emailing you was HIS idea? If you spend a week with them and come back and tell us she's turned him into her sex slave, then we'll talk.
And, kindly, I think you have had a lot of things stirred up by this - not that it's your father's fault, it's just happened - and you might benefit with some short-term talk therapy. Just to get it all out. This is frankly absurd. The OP might have some say if she were still living at home or if the younger partner in this "May"-December romance weren't approaching middle agebut Anonymous lives far from her father and everyone involved is well into adulthood so whatever this relationship may have looked like 25 years ago is moot.
It's happening now, wish him well now, and-if you need to-keep your distance from now on. I think people are being very harsh with you and devaluing your feelings. You can feel whatever you want people! How you behave with your father or his girlfriend is another matter.
Congratulate, my dad is dating someone younger than me can recommend visit
As someone who is going through a VERY similar situation at the moment, I have developed the following strategy. I turn to my partner and other close friends to process his new relationship. In these relationships I can be myself, vent my feelings and frustrations and have a sympathetic ear. But I am supportive of my dad's new relationship in all of my conversations with him.
He actually started a new relationship in the midst of breaking up with his partner of 24 years. His friends are judging him and he is feeling very alone right now.
I need to be there for him and part of that is being supportive of his new relationship, no matter how Jerry Springer-esque it is. The plus, is that I'm actually getting closer to my father.
I too am equally far away from him and see him twice a year, but the whole situation has gotten me to be much more regularly in touch with him. And he seems to be very appreciative of it right now.
Now I haven't met the new woman but I am really trying to think positively, try to see that she is bringing him happiness, and to be as genuine as I can. Here you sound like you're 24, if that. Would you pass up a wonderful loving relationship with someone because they were, say, 22? Why, exactly? Because of what other people might say? Or think? Or is there some other reason that we're all missing here? To me it sounds like you never did really forgive your father for his original fuckup.
There was some healing, but now he's ripped the wound open again without actually doing anything wrong. Otherwise, you'd be happy for him now, not creeped out. I think you'll have to deal with that old wound before you can deal with this.
In the meantime, try not to burn any bridges. I understand being creeped out. I don't blame you.
But it's not a horrible thing that he's doing, it's just a thing that's making you uncomfortable. I think if you got to know her, and went ahead and met her, it would help to do away with the creep factor. Right now, she's an abstract idea of your former classmates, but she's an actual person with a job and likes and dislikes and a history like the rest of us. She's also probably as uncomfortable with the situation as you are.
The only thing you can really do with situations like that is dive in and get used to the water. Yes and yes. If you were 17 and she were 19, sure. She's 36! So no, it isn't all that creepy. It's probably a little uncomfortable. Nothing wrong with feeling a little weird.
But "totally creepy" is not a good way to look at it, and in any case it's no reason to act poorly. And yes, you're not acting in a mature fashion. Why not?
You might have your assumptions positively challenged. Yes, but understandably. You are mostly projecting your expectations on her. You would have been fine if he were dating a "fun, free-spirited woman, probably a widow".
One would think that could have been a somewhat reassuring thing, with rules and roles clearly defined, and for you an easier transition between step-mothers. Now, you are feeling threatened in your daughter role instead, and I think this is what irks you the most.
Living on different sides of the country should make that easier.
Very pity my dad is dating someone younger than me consider
Good luck to both of you. I think your feelings are completely natural. It's awkard! There's nothing wrong with you. Anyone would understand why you would feel this way.
It's not complicated - you've explained perfectly why this feels icky. But I also agree with those who say you should do your best to get over it. You don't have to fall all over anyone with loving embraces, but it would be best for everyone if you can be gracious and polite and Maybe this is the biggest mistake your dad will ever make in his entire life - but it's his mistake to make. Maybe it's a fine relationship - I know of two similar age-difference relationships that worked out well - one ended in permanent marriage, and one lasted a few years before an amicable parting - and neither was really about an older guy chasing a younger woman.
In both cases it was just something that worked. I have no doubt that it was no less weird for the families of the men in those relationships than this is for you, but the good thing is that it doesn't appear to have caused a serious rift.