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YOU have done nothing to warrant their behavior. Their relationship is working because of the "scandalous and forbidden" element. That's half the fun for them. When that wears off, and everyone in the community moves on to the next piece of gossip, and your ex and your friend really get to know each other, the appeal will fade.
He or she could be doing this to you to act out his or her passive aggressive anger. How sick is that? Don't even put yourself into that venom. Remove yourself from it and rise above. Grit your teeth, accept it, act classy and show grace to the outside world. I remember people in my neighborhood would tell me they saw them out and I would seriously cringe, and then go home and cry.
The people weren't trying to be cruel, by the way. Make sure not to react in front of others because it could get back to your ex and your friend I mean, your ex friend. Plus, when the relationship ends, the only thing people will remember is how you reacted. DO NOT make a scene and get into a girl fight with the girl. It's unorthamericanjunioramateur.comoductive, psychotic and immature.
You don't' have to be overly friendly to your ex and your friend. In fact, if you are a little icy that's okay. Just don't go postal. Call your REAL girlfriends. The fact that this girl did this to you is probably making you feel insecure about girl friendships.
So, call your girls up! Call the ones you know are your true friends.
Jun 14, I think, "My ex is dating my friend" is very common, especially if you live in the suburbs, where everyone knows everyone. If you find yourself in this situation, here are some tips on how to handle it and how to keep from going insane: 1. Your ex and "your friend" are the ones who should feel stupid, NOT YOU! With a different ex, a friend rudely informed me he'd be dating her and I'd have to be okay with her being around. That went the worst it could have. You talk to the friend. You talk to that girl. You weigh those pros and cons before you tell me you started dating my crazy ex. Some friends might be cool with you dating their ex, but other friends may feel it's crossing the line. Here are some potential red flags to consider if you're trying to decide whether or not dating someone your friend has dated is a good idea. Your friend is still struggling with the breakup.
They will support you more than you could have possibly imagined. They will assure you that they are your best friends and that you are loved. The relationship probably won't last. What are the chances they are going to end up happily ever after? Especially if he or she is newly separated.
If it does, you can handle it because of tip 8.
Focus on your own life. The person is obviously is a bad friend and you are getting a divorce, regardless of him or her, right? So, let them have their fun and concentrate on making your own life better.
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Focus on your kids, your career, and your love life, if you choose. A good friend used to say to me, "You're on your own road. Travel it! Lastly, if you are on the other end of this, meaning if you are the one who starts dating your friend's ex, PLEASE handle it this way. Confront your friend and apologize. Say something like, "This isn't personal.
Opinion friend is dating my ex reddit thought
We really like each other. I hope you understand that we don't want to hurt you. I shall call it the Ex-ceptible Theorum. Unless someone else comes up with something way better.
Do they give out Nobel Prizes, cos I fucking deserve one. This took forever, and also kept growing; as I came up with from personal experience other variables that needed to be taken into consideration. Please, if you think of another variable shove it up your backside justify it, and we can try to work it into the equation.
We'll call this FR. If the emotional connection between you and the girl is from 1 Holy fuck I want in on that to 5 What light beyond yon window breaks?
I've arranged it thusly, so that a positive number is correlated with a Green Light, go ahead, date, and a negative number is correlated with a Danger, Will Robinson, don't stick your dick in there, mate. But from looking at the justifications, I think it's more complicated than just 'previous' and 'friendship'. I mean, if you are totally utterly besotted with this girl and she is with you, but it's your best mate's ex fiance, you want to add in some insurance that you're doing the right thing.
Hence, ER - let's make that to the second power.
Now, even if you are a 3 on the emotional scale, your friend needs to be pretty close to you and have had a long relationship with this girl to knock that out. But if you like this girl and it's an acquaintances' ex, then you can just go ahead. And if you're besotted, then there's no way friendship or previous relatioships can stand in the way.
Now, bear in mind, we need to add in in the case that your mate has given you the go ahead we'll call that 'AF' the Allow Factor '. So the AF, works on the principle that despite being a tight relationship, your mate has said either yes or no. So this needs to tie into the FR catagory.
Friend is dating my ex reddit
If your mate is a 5, and he's said 'no', fucking hell, think twice. You had better be head over heels with this lady. So if he says yes, then this has got to lower the input of the friendship FR on the equation, and if he has no, then this has to raise the FR. Again, this needs be proportional to the friendship, because who gives a shit if your friend's cousin doesn't want you banging his ex wife?
So for this reason, we reorganise the equation:. Then, we have the Mutual Factor MFhow much does this girl like you? This is a good measure of whether you're chasing after someone who will never want you what's the point of endangering a friendship or actually looking to get together with your soulmate. It is important that you do not take history into account for this step.
Just because someone liked you back in the day, or dated you a while ago; doesn't mean it's okay to damage a friendship to try it again.
We need a different equation for that, and frankly, it's late and I'm tired. And lastly, the Rebound Factor RF. How likely is it that she may be on the rebound, get together with her partner? Yes, some people will take longer, some people will be fine quicker and ideally, if she's broken it off, she's up for it; but let's take this as an average and not a rule, and remember we're removing it to improve chances for your new beau.
A negative number is a warning. A positive result is a yes. The larger the number, obviously, the more 'okay' it is. So in this case, a negative answer - but small, you probably shouldn't do it. He really liked her, he's told you 'no', again AF 2. In this case, absolutely go for it, even though he's said no. She is into you MF 4 but you just think she's fit ER 1. I realise now, I may have wasted my evening. But if this saves lives - then I don't regret it.
Someone check my maths. It's quarter to fucking two. While this works for all individuals, all friendships; I do underline that at the end of the day, responsible adults can do whatever they like, though I'd hope that they'd take people's emotions into consideration. Fuck knows, I've made enough mistakes, I wish I'd discovered this equation 10 years ago.
I'm interested, did you have a specific situation you were thinking about - what did your number come out at? Nah, it was just hypothetical. However, one of my closer friends did recently have a break-up with somebody he hadn't dated very long. I didn't ask him about dating her because I'm not interested, but for the hell of it This guy is one of my closest friends not brojob close, but still very close so we'll give him a 4 on the FR.
They weren't together for very long, so we'll give the PR a 2. She was alright to hang around with but I'm not really interested, so let's give the ER a 1. I really have no way of knowing so let's go with 1.
Remarkable, friend is dating my ex reddit were visited
As for RF, my friend was the one who ended it so we're going to go with 3. I'm not sure what to go with for time, so since it was relatively short-lived, let's give it a factor of. Bear in mind that math is not my strong suit so it's hugely possible that I may have misunderstood something. That's right; it works out that essentially, as you aren't really into her, she may not be into you, and he's a good friend, it's probably best to steer clear.
If you fall in love with her, though - give it another couple of months and go for it! It's all up to the situation. I'm married to my best friends ex. They still get along and we all hang out. He was fine with me dating her and I did discuss it with him before hand.
Old friend is dating my ex and I can't be friends anymore Okay this is going to be quite a complicated story but I'll try to keep it simple. So I (22F) met my friend Kayla (22F) in college four years ago. Jun 05, my best friend is dating the guy i love dating your best friend pros and cons tips on dating my best friend dating your best friend quiz my best friend and i started dating .
If you want a quick and easy answer to your question, without giving away any of those details, then you'd better just ask your friend for permission. Otherwise, don't do it-because in bird culture, this is considered a "dick move".
I should clarify - the question is totally hypothetical. Well, in layman's terms, if you ever find yourself in that situation Take a step back and look at the whole thing as subjectively as possible-and if you can't do that, then get an uninvolved friend or family member, or male role model that you can trust to help you make a decision.
Remember: the more information you have when answering a question, the better the confidence you will have in your answer. I did once, but my friend and I run in different circles, so whenever I went into his circle, I left her home.
If there's any typical interaction between the three of us, I'd say no, unless neither one cares, they only dated a little, or something like that. They broke up a decade ago though, but they still hate each other, so he doesn't come around as often this friend isn't that much of a friend as in the past, though, so it's not as big a deal as it could be otherwise.
Consider, friend is dating my ex reddit necessary
I didn't really know her, they mostly had the lead up to their relationship over break and then broke up in like the second week of school. Fast forward that fall: she lives in my building and we start talking and stuff.
She's sort of friends with a friend of mine who I hit up for lunch most days. Eventually we start hanging out more, etc. I become single over Christmas we're now a year after her relationship with buddy.
I ask my buddy what his thoughts are, since it's clear we're on a course for a relationship. He tells me she's a crazy bitch. I don't listen. Ends up going poorly, but we're still Bros and he has the ultimate I told ya so. Fresh off a breakup?
Probably not the best idea We never have cared who dated who. Plenty of women have come and gone, why let one trip the whole group up?
There are Exes where I would not be ok with it as it was a long and messy breakup and hurt for good. And then there's the one who is my best friend to this day.
In that case I'd be happy for the two of them and try my best to help them should they have any relationship-problems :.
A lot of people are saying no, but I would say yes. I have never been in the situation so take it with a grain of salt, but I think I would want my friend and possibly my ex to be happy and if dating made them happy, fine. Once they are not together, free ball. Imagine you your friends dated everyone in the city or town you're in: will you travel to another town for female companionship?
I mean, my ex was crazy and cheated on me. Now my best friend is dating her. Shes still crazy, and now shes pregnant, and cheating on him. So I mean, he should have learned from my mistakes. There are 7 billion people on the planet, 3. Geographic isolation is the only excuse I can think of. I really don't fall in love easily. I'm not gonna give up on a girl I like just because one of my friend still believe she owes him something.
As I've said in another comment girls are nobody's property. I'd be tactful and respectful about it but if I really like a girl your pride is not my concern.
If it's just about fucking then yes, there are plenty other women you can find and shag. But you presume your friend did And therefore won't be emotionally tormented by being forced into social situations with someone he may still be pining for, who may have cheated on him, who broke his heart or all of the above?
It's not about pride or ownership, it's about having empathy for your "friend". If you don't have that empathy, then he's not really your friend anyway. As I said, and have many others, the situation matters - they only went out for a little while and it's been a while since then, probably fine. If he's only kind of a guy you know, see him every once in a while but don't hang out regularly, etc. Then probably fine. Their relationship is over. At no point point did I say you shouldn't be empathetic that's what I meant when I said you should be tactful.
I'm not saying you should torment your friend on purpose and force him to have social interaction with that girl, but I don't see the point on preventing two people to be happy just because a third isn't. In the end you have three people miserable instead of one.
Think, that friend is dating my ex reddit sorry
I'll go even further, maybe that guy is actually unhappy because he is not over that girl. And that might be the wake up call that helps him to move on with his life. Attempted it once, lost a very good friend over it. In hindsight is was a very poor decision on my part, a mistake that I won't repeat. Yes, absolutely. As you get older you'll find that you're all in the same circle of friends, so dating other people's exes is completely natural.
Even if that were true which it hasn't been for me - my peer circles are always evolvinghow would that make it any better? Go out, meet some new people and stop dragging refuse back into the house - we put it out by the curb for a reason. You believe it's lazy that friends groups tend to converge as you get older? When I have friends, I often introduce them to other friends, making a single large group of friends. There's nothing lazy about it.
Do you just lose all your old friends or something? Consider old friends refuse? Sounds like you don't actually value friendship or something. I only slept with people because I liked them. So I remain friends with my exes, and my friends remain friends with their exes too.
And if it didn't work out because the people were different, then it might work out just fine with me. There's nothing cowardly about being attracted to people you're friends with and have known for years. I probably wouldn't because I know that I wouldn't be ok with one of my friends dating my ex. The thing is I can't forbid anything, but if you honestly cared about me as a friend you wouldn't go for it if I say it's not ok.
It also depends heavily on certain circumstances. Is it a recent break up? Was she the one for your friend? Is he still sad about it? It's really something you'd have to ask the particular friend rather than assuming anything. Slot of factors play here. Length of the relationship, length since breaking up, how it ended, how he feels about her now Just talk to your bro about it.
And if you're to afraid to talk to him it probably means it's a bad idea. Accepting - yes, with express permission only, preferably written. Smart -rarely, even if permission is given. Depends on the situation. The closeness of you and your bro vs.
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Whichever is greater should win out all the time. If there's a reason I didn't want her, I would warn you off.