In most organizations and social groups, a sponsor is someone who initially introduces you into the group and who vouches for you good character etc. Speak with an Addiction Specialist. Call Comments Have your say about what you just read! Leave me a comment in the box below.
However, it is not advisable for someone who is in AA to date their sponsor. Sometimes, it is suggested that the person buys a plant and keeps it alive for a considerable amount of time before moving on to keeping a pet. Then, once they have kept their pet alive and healthy for a while, they can consider dating.
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Dating another member of AA can be difficult in many ways because both people are likely to be vulnerable and the relationship could possibly end up becoming codependent;this is potentially problematic for both individuals involved.
It is probably preferable to choose a sponsor who will be able to devote enough time to the sponsee. A lot of confidential information gets exchanged in this type of relationship. An unscrupulous sponsor could try to benefit from this disclosure.
The way intuition works is poorly understood, but it can be perilous to ignore such feelings. Many people who go against this inner voice later regret it. Sponsorship can be hugely beneficial to both parties, but sometimes things do go wrong. The most common pitfalls to watch out for include:.
They may be doing this out of a genuine desire to help, or it could have more to do a type of hunger for power. Escaping addiction is all about finding freedom, so allowing a sponsor to have too much influence is unwise.
Apr 25, After all its a 'selfish' program - we take what we want from it and make it our own. That's the beauty of AA. So with that being said there are hundreds of ways to be a great AA sponsor. I am going to share my way and maybe you can take something from it and make it work for you. How To Work the 12 Steps of AA With Your Sponsee. Seeking a sponsor similar to yourself may be comforting, but it's not a requirement. In fact, choosing someone with a different background is often better because, as AA's pamphlet on sponsorship points out, it forces you and your sponsor to focus on the most important area you have in common - addiction and recovery. A sponsor with. The Unwritten Rules on Sponsorship You can choose your own AA sponsor if they agree to sponsor you, but AA prefers them to be of the same sex, believing that mixed sex sponsor pairs cause unwanted complications (the idea that a man and woman cannot have a platonic relationship being part of this no doubt).
This is why it is recommended that members of AA always look for people with a strong foundation in recovery - even then there are no guarantees. Thirteenth stepping is when sponsors, or other senior members, take advantage of newer members in order to gain sexual favors. These predators do exist in AA and need to be avoided. It is usual to share the step 5 moral inventory with the sponsor. This can contain a lot of embarrassing information, as well as things that may even have legal implications.
Giving such information to an untrustworthy sponsor could later prove disastrous. This is why it is crucial to not accept their opinion as infallible - this is particularly important when it comes to medical advice.
There is no obligation to accept the advice offered by the sponsor. This can damage confidence and self-esteem. If alcohol or drugs currently have the better of you it is imperative that professional rehabilitation assistance is sought. The longer a person ignores their dependence the deeper the problems will become.
A difficult decision to make: Being dependent upon a substance means that a person relies on it to help them get through the. The specter of drugs testing at your place of employment is a worrying cloud many recreational drug users live under.
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To add to the concern there has also been a noticeable increase in the use of drug testing kits used by law enforcement officers. Methadone is seen as part of the treatment process for those trying to beat heroin addiction. While it can help many it must be known that this opiate can also bring a whole new set of addiction problems into the equation. I work with my sponsees using the 7 deadly sins: pride, resentment, gluttony, guilt, lust, envy, sloth, fear.
Maybe it is for your sponsee, but dig deep and find out what troubling characteristics have caused those drunken activities. Step 5 : Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
I ask my sponsees if they truly admitted to God and to themselves their defects list. But if we are ready, willing and genuinely humble about our defects of character, God will forgive and remove.
Sponsorship in recovery? 5 Things to look for.
He wants us to get better, God wants us to be free and live a better life without the struggle of drugs and alcohol. Our God is a forgiving God, and one that will help clean our side of the street.
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Watch him perform the miracle of getting your sponsee sober through these steps. Step 8 : Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. Who did we hurt with our character defects along the way. Who did we lie to, cheat on, steal from.
Who did we bulldoze through, trample on, and kick out of our way to get drugs and alcohol. Ask your sponsee to write down names, places, events, dates and times.
Step 9 : Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. Because while you are trying to clean your side of the street, you do not need to bring someone else in to and dirty their lives back up again.
So if you believe that bringing up an old resentment is going to hurt someone - do NOT do it. Pray to God to have him remove it.
Dec 15, Exception to the Rule: When AA and Romance Do Mix Written by Claire Buhay | last ated 15 December I'll admit it: When I was counting days in AA, the sexy people in my "home group" kept me coming back to northamericanjunioramateur.com's a large, social .
Otherwise, get out there and start making amends to people you have hurt. It can be as simple as that. Do not expect a forgiveness right away. Step 10 : Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. This is the ongoing work.
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I take personal inventory on my stuff and immediately call myself out when I am wrong. I am not perfect, we are not saints, our best thinking got us in to rehab and or AA rooms.
We are going to be wrong, but now we have tools to inventory it, categorize it as a defect, work on it, admit it, apologize and get better at it.
Encourage your sponsee to spend 15 minutes each morning in prayer and meditation.
The step model is built on a foundation of service, according to documents published by the Alcoholics Anonymous General Service Office, so people who participate are encouraged to think of ways to give to others and help them improve. Serving as a sponsor is seen as a form of service, so it's something that most people do willingly. Being able to rely on a sympathetic ear can be particularly important when the individual feels on the verge of relapse. Choosing the right sponsor is important, because otherwise the relationship could prove to be disastrous. The Importance of Sponsorship in AA. Sponsorship has been an important element from AA right from the beginning. In a study of people who had participated in Alcoholics Anonymous, published in the journal Psychology of Addictive Behaviors, researchers found that most people were strongly encouraged to find a sponsor. If that result is to be believed, almost everyone who participates in the Step movement becomes a sponsee at some point.
There are hundreds of meditation prayers out there. Asking to understand God better, and admitted that this is His world and asking for direction to carry His will out is a pretty awesome way to start the morning. I meditate each morning for about 15 minutes.
I reached out to an oldtimer in Alcoholics Anonymous, and asked for his worksheet on sponsorship. This sober oldtimer composed this with the help of a sponsee. For anyone new to recovery and the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, it is an incredible resource when looking for a quality sponsor. The article is composed this from the perspective of a male because, as he quips, "I'm old!". Dating your AA sponsor could compromise your recovery efforts. There are many reasons why it is problematic and even unsafe to consider dating one's sponsor in AA. Being in recovery takes quite a bit of self-control, and even if you and your sponsor may be attracted to each other, it is important to be in control of your desires or else other. Apr 30, What Does an AA Sponsor Do? The role of the AA sponsor is vast. Here are just some of the things you can expect from a good sponsor. Guidance and support: The primary role of the AA sponsor is guide you through the Rooms and to give you the recovery support you need. A sympathetic ear: When you just need to vent, your sponsor is there to lend.
Step 12 : Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs. You have to give it away in order to keep it.
Dating your aa sponsor
How many guys were there for you when you needed them the most. How many AA friends reached out to you to help.
Your sponsee must do the same.