Most submissions should be self-posts. Link submissions that foster discussion are allowed from active members. No submissions or comments from media marketers, personal blogs, podcasts or videos, donation requests, affiliate links, or any other attempts to use our community for profit, marketing etc. Such messages or posts will be removed. Surveys and research may be approved on a case-by-case basis with prior coordination of the mods if and only if such research is scientific or academic and if the results will be published publicly without a paywall. No market research will be allowed. This is a pro-marriage equality sub.
This is a long one so if anyone reads through the entire thing, I'm deeply and truly thankful for spending the time to do so.
I may trigger some people here because I'll be discussing about religion too. It's merely just a fragment of the story. I'm 18 years old and I am dating a guy that is of a different religion. I am a Buddhist or was a Buddhist as I'm starting to doubt what religion, in general, truly mean to me and my partner is a Muslim. I was initially hiding the relationship from my parents as they have previously specifically instructed me not to date a Muslim for reasons that they failed to clarify.
I obviously didn't expect to fall for a Muslim but I did because I didn't see the harm in doing so. So one night, I left my phone unlocked as I fell asleep while texting my partner and my dad decided to snoop around in my messages and found out that I was dating a Muslim. My dad knew that my partner is a Muslim as coincidentally, his parents and my parents are friends. My dad transferred the photos of me and my partner into his phone and computer for backup and confronted me the next day. My parents told me to come up with some excuse to stop talking to my partner immediately they didn't want to affect his studies as as result of our breakup as he was taking his finalstold me to break up with him after his exams and "threatened" to talk to his parents about our relationship with the intent of exposing our relationship to his parents.
I see no harm in that because his parents are very open minded. And they didn't meet up as my parents were embarrassed to tell his parents that we were dating.
I immediately texted my partner about the situation and my partner was upset but was understanding. He told me to stop contacting him for a short while as I try to fix my relationship with my parents. He also told me that he can't break up with me as religion wasn't a reasonable reason to break up and I couldn't agree more. It sounds utterly unreasonable to me. Maybe at this point some of you might be thinking that I'm an ungrateful ass and that I treasure my partner more than my parents despite my parents taking care of me my entire life.
Please read on bud :. After this incident, it was a mental and emotional hell for me. Occasionally, my parents would bring the incident up and check on me to see if I was still talking to him behind my back.
Just simply don't let you parents feel left out because of marriage. They need to feel valued just like you value the one you love. You need to make them feel that your partner will complement your love and your partner will gravitate to your parents and love them and make them a part of both your lives. Nov 11, Yes, he can file restraining order against you if you come on his property without his consent. He can also make life hell for you and your girlfriend in . Dating Against Parents Wishes Partnerschaft - man nehme: Eine Prise Liebe, zwei gro?e Essloffel Respekt, drei Becher Herzenswarme, eine Schussel.
I was indeed talking to him still as he was my biggest pillar of support. I'm not as smart and capable as they think.
How Do We Handle Conflict With Parents? – Sadhguru
During these "discussions", I would try my best to reason it out to them as to why I don't think it is wrong to date a Muslim guy. But they aren't the most open minded and would insist on their reasonings. Reason 1: There are marriages whereby the females are obligated to convert to a Muslim as a result of marrying into a Muslim family. My parents are aware of civil marriages whereby the female doesn't have to convert but they believe firmly that I would end up converting as they know that my partner's parents are strong Muslims.
Think, that dating against parents wishes
But honestly, his parents are open-minded and have once hinted to my partner that they do not wish to force their religion on any female that he chooses to be with. I've talked to my partner and he also wouldn't want me to convert either if we do get married in the future. I told my parents about this and they did not believe me. Reason 2: They didn't agree with some of the Muslim laws such as being able to have 4 wives at once.
Farr defied her parents' dating rules because she formed genuine connections with men from minority backgrounds. Some people, in contrast, flout their parents' wishes simply to rebel. No child should feel pressured to go along with their parents' racist beliefs. Over the past 40 years, the norms on who is to make treatment decisions for newborns, and on what standards, have been significantly altered and revised. Today the standard for treatment of newborns is the "best interest" of the child. A recent ruling of the Texas Supreme Court authorising a doctor to resuscitate a potentially viable very premature newborn over the parents' objection is. Jan 26, Talk (and Listen) to Your Parents Have a frank conversation with your folks about why they don't like your partner or approve of your union. Calmly and respectfully allow them to voice their objections. It may turn out that they just haven't had enough of a chance to really get to know .
This is plain ridiculous. His parents aren't unfaithful. Heck, his entire family has 1 partner in their wedded lives. Reason 3: The Muslims have this sacrificial ritual whereby they would sacrifice a goat?
Whereby in Buddhism, killing a living thing is a sin.
So basically, if he partakes in the ritual, I'm committing a sin for staying with him. I don't know what to say about that.
I still blame myself till this day for failing to be more wary that night which resulted in conflicts that may have turned my relationship between me and my parents sour. I am putting up a front everytime I'm with them but deep down inside, I am feeling very uncomfortable because of the many foul things and negative stereotypes they have said about my partner's religion.
I am still hiding about the fact that I'm still with him and I am scared of them finding out about him again. I still live with my parents by the way. I know my parents aren't perfect as we all make mistakes too.
Messages dating against parents wishes with you
But if I were to marry him in the future, I do want them to attend my wedding and give me their blessings because afterall, they are my parents.
They aren't bad parents, they have done a lot for me and my sister to be able to live a privileged and comfortable life that we have today. I also don't want to end my relationship as I really need someone to lean onto, because I'm emotionally unstable and weak.
Am I being very ungrateful for not following my parent's wishes and choosing to stay with my partner despite all the things they have done for me?
Am I a terrible person for eroding my parents' trust if I were to reveal to them that I'm still with him? You clearly love your parents and are a thoughtful daughter. Their reasons for not dating a muslim don't seem to make sense to you.
That is one conflict.
Another conflict is self autonomy, self determination versus being the good daughter, and family culture. You are not alone in feeling these conflicts, many people go through these conflicts, in many different ways. There seems to be a loss in either course of action. Could your parents ultimately accept your partner or will they disown you? Could you live with yourself if you give up on this love? It's hard to predict the future. I've met people who say they will only choose to love the person their parents pick for them, and there are other people who are reckless and choose partners that disrupt their families, and there are various outcomes of that.
In the end you're going to have to make a choice and live with the consequences, including the unforeseen consequences. Could you work to win your family over to your view? Could you choose your family and feel right within yourself and not resent your family?
Dating against parents wishes
I don't know what country your are in and more details about your situation. You have to decide how traditional you are going to be.
I married my husband against my parents wishes, also for religious issues, and I have no regrets. We dated for 8 years and have been married for 4. My parents eventually got over it. Follow your heart. Is dating someone against my parents' wishes is the right thing to do? I'm conflicted. This is about my parents and my relationship with them. This is a long one so if anyone reads through the entire thing, I'm deeply and truly thankful for spending the time to do so. I may trigger some people here because I'll be discussing about religion too. Nov 14, Assuming you generally have a good relationship with your parents I would strongly advise you to at least consider the reasons they have for disapproving before you go ahead. Love isn't the only thing that matters in a relationship and your parents (assuming they are still married) have had a long time together to learn this.
There are many conflicting interests in life, and this one is a doozy. You find yourself drawn to this person, and feel bad about lying to your family. At what point do you stop trying to persuade your family? At what point are your honest with your family?
If they forbid you to date the person in question tell them that you won't even think about respecting their wishes that until they respect you enough to tell you what their objections are based on. Say that while you do love and respect them that you can't let go of somebody who is important to you just because they say so and be prepared to deal with the consequences of going against them.
At what point are you willing to leave your family to pursue what seems right to you, with the potential loss of your family? Any answer people will give will tell you more about them, than you.
Advise you dating against parents wishes pity, that
The advice you like will be an important guide. It is possible to be patient and look for a harmonious resolution. Being true to yourself is so important, but you don't exist in a vacuum and I've seen families disown children for many reasons with many different outcomes. Good luck trying to untangle this particular knot. Thank you for the thoughtful advice. I truly appreciate your help : Here's a little more info about me I guess.
I live in Singapore, a country known for it's racial diversity. Despite significant western influence on our country, as an Asian country, Singapore is still considered conservative as many Asian families still firmly hold onto their traditional beliefs and cultural practices. You are welcome. It's an honor to be let into people's worlds a little bit.
I'm curious have any of your peers have gone through similar situations? Do you see yourself as moving away from your family any time soon? Could you live without your family? Are they likely to abandon you in anger? What do you see your real possibilities to be? How much of a cost to your integrity is being sneaky? Most of my peers have more open-minded parents.
I guess our society has moulded the way people view different races and religion. But I do not wish to keep up with this lie.
I want to have open, honest conversations with them and involve them in my life as much as I can in the future. My relationship is going strong, we have been very supportive of each other, hence I see a possibility of us being together. My parents is a tricky one. Well, my sister is nearly 23 and my parents still have a strong grip on her as to who she can and cannot date.
Apprently they disapproved her now partner merely because he is studying a degree that is not as prestigious as my sister's or neither is he extremely wealthy.
Our family isn't wealthy either.
We have a pretty average household income. My sister's partner has worked hard to show his worth to my parents, which my sister feels utterly guilty to have had placed this pressure on him but to no avail. My sister is also trying to keep her relationship under wraps too. Sadly, this just shows that our parents have really high expectations and the only way out for us is to keep on lying to them. Integrity is not my best quality but because this is what I think is best for me and for my parents, I'll keep up with my sneaky ways.
I guess not knowing the complete truths about my life is a bliss for my parents?
Much dating against parents wishes think
I guess this will keep them happy for long. If you know what I mean and I think you do. Besides, if you're 18, you're better off dating women older than you, not younger! Yes you can. Her parents are the ones with the legal responsibility-and authority-to determine this. They could take legal action against you if they choose to do so. Most likely that would start with a restraining order-but you would be in serious legal trouble if you defied that.
Uh if she changed into raped then that guy ought to flow to penitentiary and face expenditures in a courtroom tell the police once a threat also father and mother being sexually violated at 13 years previous isn't ok it really is extremely snarled no longer flow to college yet no human being will be able to inform if she's preggo or no longer till you tell them yet at the same time as that babybelly starts coming in then that is time on your buddy to take somewhat holiday for homeschooling for uh.
Yes, he can file restraining order against you if you come on his property without his consent. He can also make life hell for you and your girlfriend in many other ways.
If you really love this girl, do not go against her father's wishes. Wait until she on her own and ready to stand up against her father without any repercussions. You might get into some significant trouble Here is an idea As long as you are over 18 and she isn't, he can press charges against you.
It's in his hands how far he wants to take it. Be careful, you're playing with fire. The father has the right to protect his daughter even though you could possibly be the greatest guy on earth. She is his little girl. If he claims you did have sex with her, you'll be the one who will have to prove you didn't in court.
Trending News. Trump comments on private border wall segment. NFL franchise officially has new name coming. Lisa Marie Presley 'heartbroken' by son's death. Poll: Favorite replacements for 'Redskins' nickname.