I rolled my eyes. It was a question I got every time I mentioned that I was currently living with my ex-boyfriend in a small, one-bedroom apartment. I was 24 years old and had recently relocated to Los Angeles for grad school. The spark was long gone. We wondered whether we were too young to settle - or to settle down. And we naively decided that Garrett following me from our hometown of Cincinnati to LA would help us find answers.
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Never EVER date a guy or a girl who is in touch with his/her ex. Their is no such thing as friendship after northamericanjunioramateur.commes men date other women to make ex jealous and win her back or vise versa.I knew lot of female friends who had boyfriends yet got jealous when their ex dated another northamericanjunioramateur.com of these women tend to keep options. Sep 15, Ex-etiquette: He's a great guy, but still lives with ex I recently started dating a man who's been honest about his current living situation with his ex and her teenage son Post to FacebookAuthor: Jann Blackstone. Nov 20, "How the hell do you do it?!" I rolled my eyes. It was a question I got every time I mentioned that I was currently living with my ex-boyfriend in a small, one-bedroom apartment. I was 24 years old and had recently relocated to Los Angeles for grad school. Before the big move, my three-year relationship with my then-boyfriend, Garrett*, was in an uncertain northamericanjunioramateur.com: Belinda Cai.
I think he isn't really over his ex because anytime we talking about it, he says its nothing, then he goes back to doing the same thing Was this helpful? Yes No I need help Do they share a child together? Because that would be the only reason to keep a connection with an ex for many years.
The fact that he used your money without speaking to you about it first, is a red flag. He was more concerned about his ex's financial issue than giving you the courtesy of consultation. If you are thinking of getting back together with him, the number one negotiated rule on reconciliation should be that he stops all contact with this ex.
Trust has been damaged resulting in a breakup and you both will have to attempt to rebuild that. I heard his ex is obsessed with him, and he talks to her. She always tries and messes with him. He doesn't want to talk to her, but he has to get her brother.
He doesn't do anything in the article, but they might text on hangouts or snapchat. His friend sent me messages from him and his ex. Yes No I need help His life is entangled in his ex's familial and social circles.
He may not ever change this. So if you can't trust him or feel like there is a third person in the relationship, you should walk away. His friends are showing you messages and warning you that his ex is obsessed with him. This also means that it is not just you who is concerned about your boyfriend's interactions with his ex.
Take their advice and speak with your boyfriend about how you feel pushed aside for his ex. Yes No I need help See more questions like this: Do I take my ex back if he dumped me for his lover and now she dumped him? So I am just wondering if I am just the side woman and maybe their really having sex too and he lies about me to her and vise versa. Not sure!!! That is why I am hoping you will know. He always acts like the kids are the reason for him to act like we're not together. Yes No I need help Have you met his children?
Because after three years, you should have met them and become a part of their lives if even a small portion. Not adding you to Facebook is another red flag. You have dated him for three years so this should no longer be a secret to his ex wife. Now that the divorce is final, there should be a standing custodial order with that divorce.
His ex can't restrict his custodial visits structure without court intervention. You need to tell him that you have spent three long years in the shadows of his life. Now that he is finally divorced, he owes it to you in terms of no longer hiding the relationship. If he still will not do that, it is time to consider breaking up with him because you will always be second to his ex wife. I have a suitor now. He's newly break-up with his ex who cheated on him. We're at that stage of getting to know each other.
I know that it's still a fresh breakup, but he told me that he has no feelings for her. That he's very in love with me already. But sometimes I get confused. There's a time that I feel he's not excited to chat with me, but when we're together he's so clingy. He's ex is always posting on Facebook like she's regretting what she did to him. I'm so afraid that he might fall again to her and soon he will leave me dumbfounded.
Please give some piece of advice. When we talk about her he gives me a sigh and tells that not that topic again. I have tried: I go to a place where he and his friends are there. I think it was caused by: Maybe because the girl is still posting on Facebook.
Yes No I need help Your best course of action is to put this whole relationship on hold for now because you are too insecure to handle what his ex is posting on Facebook. The fact that what she has so much power over you and is determining how you perceive this new relationship is an indication that you don't trust him. Your best first course of action is to tell him that you can't handle what she is posting and that you are going to block them both and move forward and find a new partner.
If he really does love you, he is going to block her and reassure you and then he is going to do whatever it takes to get you back. Yes No I need help How to know if he is cheating on me or lying to me? We are in a relationship since 4 years, before me he had 4 girlfriends. We met 8 years ago but never spoken with each other. We chatted over the phone for few times, he asked me to come out. I don't know why but for some unknown reasons we came close, sometimes we used to speak after 8 months, that too, he called me maybe after his breakup.
He broke up in We got hitched after that only. I know his Facebook password so time to time I used to see his messages, at that time it was huge.
He used to call her, talk with her, but she never did. Time went today only I saw his messages on Facebook. We were about to get married but I dropped the plan. They dated for 1 year and their conversation is single sided, he used to message her like hi, how are you doing, happy birthday etc. I don't know. I need help. Yes No I need help It doesn't matter whether he is cheating or not because this relationship is making so you feel so insecure that you just wrote the words "I need help.
The fact that you are snooping around in his Facebook, looking for evidence that would incriminate him is evidence that you don't trust him in the first place.
He should be able to reassure you that your future is in place. If you don't want to break up with him, your next move would be to ask him to remove her from any Facebook or messaging lists. If he doesn't comply then it means he has no concern for how much this is distressing you.
It's also clear that you need to see a therapist or seek professional counseling to investigate why this bad relationship has had so much power over you in the first place. Yes No I need help What does it mean if my boyfriend keeps on telling stories about his ex's? He keeps on telling stories about his ex's. I'm so much hurt, but I didn't show that I'm in pain. He is not intentionally hurting you.
Instead, he feels comfortable enough with you to relay his stories or regrets from the past. The ex may also be someone who was there for a large portion of his life.
Don't read too much into it, but you could tactfully tell him that you do not wish to dwell on the past but instead look towards the future. My problem can we reunite? What are the signs for us to reunite again? Not sure. But here it is. You had a relationship. It gets broken. After many years you come back together. You realize you still like the man. He had actually kept your things and gives them back. You wonder. But from that long time experience, you are not very sure if he is serious?
Yes No I need help Take the reunion slowly. Even though you dated 30 years ago, you are correct that you both have changed. This means that he may still have many of the qualities you liked from his youth but he now has adult baggage and experience from the past 30 years.
Start off by meeting for coffee or dinner several nights a week but do not jump into anything serious until you are sure that you are not hoping to correct mistakes in the past instead of building a future.
Yes No I need help How to know if he's telling me the truth about not still being in love with her? He lived with her in the past and I thought I understood that it was over.
Now I have seen text and he lies about being with her. He just told me last night that he was in love with me and that what they had blown up and didn't last. In my gut, I just don't believe him but I am in love with him.
He has even almost called me her name in conversation and lied about it. I am almost ready to just say goodbye. I have been seeing him for about 3 years. I am just afraid that I'm going to be devastated in the end. Not as blatant as in the article I don't think.
Most of the instances in the article differ from what I have experienced. Yes No I need help If he has dated you for 3 years, then he is over his ex. Does he share a child with his ex or a business? If not, then there should be no contact between them.
If he does not respect how uncomfortable it makes you, then he is not the one for you. Trust your gut. The fact is, you do not trust him. Either you get past those misgivings or move one. Yes No I need help Is he over his ex? Is there a future for us? Am I just jealous or is there more to it? Been in a relationship with A for 5 and a half years. I now recognize the warning signals He did not get divorced due to our relationship, she had affairs and they were fighting constantly.
He still lived with and supported her for a year and a half after they got divorced. I felt trapped at my current employment and got an opportunity to move to Cape Town. I informed him that I will be moving and that it will mean that we have to end our relationship, which broke my heart. He cried and came to me proposing. I did fall in love with him and was overjoyed that he felt the same We told my boss and he made arrangements to move out and buy us a home.
I moved in with him 4-months after he proposed. He cheated on me with his ex the first 4-months after I moved in. I was a total wreck and close on having a nervous breakdown. He said he loved me and that he needed to go through it to make an end to their relationship.
I had to keep our engagement secret from everyone as he felt that his family is not ready yet. I actually broke the engagement after the first 4-months as it is embarrassing removing my ring, putting it on the other hand when we go out He says he is over her but does not inform me of any of the happenings where she is involved in.
Everything about her is kept secret. When we are at functions where she is, he stares at her all night. It is so hurtful and I feel that I will always be his second choice Am I just jealous or is there more to it. Thank you Kind regards, Sharon. He does not have physical contact with his ex anymore so I believebut on an emotional issue, I believe that she is still his wife in his thoughts.
I have tried: Talking to him about how I feel. Talked to his sister about the situation, but did not include all the details. I wanted to meet her to talk to her in person, but he stopped me and said that she is cruel and I will only get hurt.
I think it was caused by: He fell in love with her. He believes he cured her of anorexia by loving and supporting her. On the night they got married she told him that she does not love him and that her parents told her to choose him as he is the safe option. I think that for the past years he has been trying to prove that he is better than the other men she wanted, been trying to win her love all these years.
Yes No I need help He had a very toxic relationship with his ex wife. He is someone who needs to be the "hero" in the relationship or "caretaker" so it is hard for him to turn off that role. Especially if you are independent, he may feel that you will not need him or stay with him. From what you have described, he is not over his past with his ex.
While he may not love her, he has not officially let her go. He should not have asked you to marry him and then in the same breath tell you to hide the engagement. His children are adults and mature enough to handle their father moving on. It appears from the outside that he was trying to hide your relationship from his ex wife because he feels it is cheating whether he wants to admit it or not to himself.
You have moved in with him, resettled your life for him. It is time to tell him to get over his past or you both have no chance of a future relationship. Hi, I'm currently dating a man and he's a wonderful guy, he really is.
But he's still in love with his ex, he came right out and said it and now I feel super insecure in my relationship with him, he's busy most days and when he's around his ex always snags his attention, he's told me when he sees her it's like the first time.
I'm guessing this is a bad sign. I mean what do I do? I've fallen for him pretty hard, but I don't want to be someone's option. It feels like I'm his second choice. He's been into this girl for five years but he left her, explaining that she cheated several times and he says I'm good for him. I mean I want to be more than good for him, I want to be his first and only choice. His ex is also super inappropriate at times. Flirting with me and him and he does nothing.
I'm losing my mind over this, I just want us back before she came back into his life. I'm scared to lose him but at this point, I'm worried about me.
Am I overreacting? Not reacting enough?
Living with An Ex
When I asked him to choose he said it might be fun to let her keep me company while he's busy. I personally find my relationship to be a disaster anymore.
I love him but is he worth my own sanity? My jealousy and rage?
I do whatever I can to make him happy but I'm risking myself in the process. I'm not good at relationships but when we were together before she came back it was perfect. We were in perfect sync, he read my mind most days and I enjoyed that, he stimulated my mind as well, he was smart and funny, charming and handsome. Now it's like I barely know him. I asked him to tell her off but he doesn't see the need. Yes No I need help You will get over him.
The good news is that he was honest with you about his feelings for his ex. The bad news is that he never will love you. Plan B is your relationship. No one wants to be a rebound but that is exactly what has happened to you. He sees no future with you so it is time for you to move on before you get in too deep.
You deserve someone that focuses only on you. My long distance boyfriend of two years we are about a 3 hours drive apart has been divorced from his wife for 17 years but has a college age son with her. They live across the country from each other, but when they visit their college age child or have to be in the other's city for business, they stay at each other's home.
Honestly, I have accepted that even though I don't like it. I realize they are trying to save money. However, if I ask him to tell her that I am looking forward to meeting her, he gets mad.
He refuses to mention me to her and says there is no reason she and I should ever meet. He says he will love me forever and is committed to me, although he never wants to get married again. I asked if I would be invited to major events like his son's graduation and wedding. He said he couldn't answer that with disgust in his voice. He also tells me that he and his ex have fun going out to ball games and restaurants when they are staying with each other but not as much fun as with me.
Something also dating a guy living with his ex confirm
I just think it is odd that he will not mention me. She knows I exist. I have met their son a couple of times. I think he does not want to risk making her mad I think that's itbut I don't understand that avoidance. Their relationship is odd; even his family parents and siblings say it's odd and that their brother is odd, lol. It feels like he has two separate lives, and it makes me annoyed. It's hard to consider ending the relationship because I love him, but honestly, it is not an easy relationship to be in.
Am I making too much out of it? Mainly, I could not find a question regarding the boyfriend's refusal to mention me or to consider us the ex-wife and me meeting one day at family events for their son such as a wedding, for example. They stay at each other's home to save money on visits, and I am not allowed to be there during those times. I have tried: I have tried talking to him.
I have tried accepting it. It still concerns me. I think it was caused by: She put him through a lot during the divorce but they are doing VERY well nowwhich explains why he does not want to marry again. However, I do not understand why I must not be mentioned and must stay away when she visits.
I think he is concerned about making her mad, but I don't understand why that concerns him. Yes No I need help Personally, I do not think that there is anything other than friendship going on between them. Yes, your boyfriend is hesitant to bring you around her but this sounds like it is only because finally, he is in a good space with his ex.
Ultimately in regards to his son's events, it is up to the son whether you should be there or not. Your boyfriend has introduced you to his family and son and that is what matters. Yes No I need help The discussion you should have with your boyfriend is possibly making plans to live closer to him. You may be "safe" for him because there is a physical distance which helps him feel better about the relationship.
He may be not completely ready for a long term commitment of even living together but you both should have some future plan in place of where this relationship is going.
I was in a 5 years LD relationship with a guy, but because of many factors, I didn't manage to fully commit to him. I was nearly there when he suddenly came up with the news he had a new girl, 20yrs younger than him, 10yrs younger than me. I think she's his rebound, I tried to take distance but he keeps contacting me via chat and we have great fun usually friendly sometimes flirty.
And that stimulates me to contact him too. He says he talks a lot to her about me.
Jun 16, In the summer of I met a man who I have been seeing ever since. We are madly in love with each other. My kids love him too. But, he still lives with his ex .
A few times he called me drunk calling me sweet names. But now suddenly, he has known her only 6 months, he told me he is marrying her. I flipped and now we're out of contact.
Dating a guy living with his ex
He is currently going through rough times due to family trouble so he's very stressed out. The weird thing is that he didn't post anything about her on Facebook he unfriended me just after our breakup and his closest friend doesn't even know about the wedding plans! What does this all mean? The ex is getting married to the rebound but in a really weird way. I have tried: We were chatting and getting closer, but as soon as I tried to talk about our own problems he just backs off.
So I kept cool, slowly approaching but then suddenly there came this news. I think it was caused by: Since the breakup 6 months ago I tried to make clear that I am ready to commit, but as we're on LD we never had a proper chance to take the time and talk about it.
It was always on chat.
So I think he did not believe me that I really wanted to try and just gave up hope. I just wonder if he is not marrying for the wrong reasons. Yes No I need help Whether he is marrying the new girl for the wrong reasons or not, you need to stay out of it.
You invested 5 years into this relationship yet, just now are ready to commit.
Curious dating a guy living with his ex share your
It appears for that perhaps you never really felt that this was the man for you. If he contacts you, do not respond. It is time for you to put him in your back view as you move forward with your life.
Find someone that you can't imagine living without. Your ex is only interested in using you as a friend. For him to tell you that he was getting married shows his character.
It was basically, emotionally slapping you in the face. Last night we had an argument and he says his ex was more submissive and he knows she still loves him. He compared me to her and other women. He makes me out to be the bad person. I am leaving him and he does not know it. This section is not written yet. Want to join in? Click EDIT to write this answer. This guy first chase me this last November and mentioned he got no girlfriend. We had chats since before his vacation.
I found out with my girlfriend close to him that he recently had break up with his girlfriend for three years. They just had closure. But he keeps on posting about songs, articles, texts related to that girl.
I invited him to see me cause we haven't got the chance to see each other even once. The last time we talked he just sai we better not see yet. When I tried to invite him before he had excuses. I am always thinking of him.
And it bothers me a lot. I always cannot resist stalking his ex girlfriend's social media account and so his. What shall I supposed to do Was this helpful? When we first met he lied and said he was divorced, but I found out he was still legally married.
I ended it. Several months later we started talking again and he showed me his divorce papers,so, yes, we got back together. A few months went by then I started to get these guy feelings that he was texted me her.
In fact, he was. I found several text that he wanted her back. She kept insisting that she did not want him. Until one day she showed up at his house with her bags saying she wanted him back and that she didn't have anywhere to go.
No job, no money, no house and no car. So he took her in and yes I left him, again. He begged me back. Begged like no man has ever begged. Saying that I am his soul mate and he messed up by letting her in. He just felt guilty cause they do have children in college together.
Within in 3 weeks he got her an apt that he still pays for and has asked me to marry him. She has invited herself to his family reunion that is coming up. He tells me he can't control what she or others do he can only control what he does. Is he lying? Does he still secretly want her? He said since his family has not seen his kids since they were babies he was making it a trip for him and his kids.
I totally understand. Until I read a text from him to her saying that their oldest is flying with her to and from the reunion. When I asked him he said he doesn't know what she is doing and doesn't really care. So confused. I have been dating my boyfriend for the past one and a half year and although we argue sometimes we always overcome it.
During the first few months of our relationship we talked about our ex they're still friends and his ex is my senior too and that's when he told me that he will always have something for her in his heart.
Consider, dating a guy living with his ex think, that
It hurt me but I recovered. Now we're fine and he loves me a lot. But time to time I think about what if he still thinks about her?
I tend to over think sometimes and feel depressed.
But why is it that I often think about making him patch up with his ex? I love him a lot and he loves me too but I have this gut feeling that I want him to dump me and go back to his ex. I have this weird habit of liking myself better when I'm sad and so every time I find ways to feel sad and depressed. See more questions like this: My boyfriend wants to get back with his ex girlfriend?
I loved this article and found it very helpful. I feel like I had been going crazy and was so sick of boyfriends calling my paranoia insecurity when it is now. I googled for this because even after therapy, I can't figure out how to find someone for a serious relationship who is not still in love with is ex and worse, moreso than with me even if he is choosing me to be with at the time.
The closest I've come to finding a pattern is that all of these men have other addiction issues.
Hi, I'm currently dating a man and he's a wonderful guy, he really is. But he's still in love with his ex, he came right out and said it and now I feel super insecure in my relationship with him, he's busy most days and when he's around his ex always snags his attention, he's told me when he . If I'm dating someone I should be able to go to his place at some point in time and there is no way that I would be going into a love nest that was built by him and his ex. Sherryann, Apr 08, My Dating Coach Hopes for You I hope you meet men who are divorced for more than a year and healed of the trauma. Consciously choose to date guys who are ready to date, are emotionally available, and seeking a serious relationship. The men you date should not text or talk on the phone during your date and show you far more respect and interest.
Any help you can give with How can I no longer attract men who are still in love with their exes would be extremely helpful. Thank you!! This article was great in that it assured me that I have been spotting the right signs and am not crazy in that regard.
Were dating a guy living with his ex consider
My question is different in that I need to know what to do in order to stop being the person these kind of losers are attracted to. How do I become someone or give off different vibes or whatever to not attract a man who really wants to be with his ex or her memory? One of my college was my best friend and we had WhatsApp chatting too.
But one day he sent a lip emoji kiss to me through WhatsApp and am getting frightened and he felt sorry for the sudden reaction and say it was a mistake but I quarreled with him about this.
After that He keeping distance from me. And I realised, am loving him.